The Beginning

About ten years ago, I had a couple of mates who holidayed in Thailand, and it got me thinking. I was sat in the pub with Tom; it was all beer, beer, talk about women, football, women and beer. How it came between man’s two most important subjects, I don’t know, but Thailand entered the slurred debate.

I challenged Tom to “book a taxi, and we’ll go to the airport now,” sure enough he did. Twenty minutes later we were chucking passports and minimal clothing into cheap and tacky sports bags, and we set off with the taxi driver grinning from ear to ear.

Heathrow here we come

Nearing Heathrow I slid the carrier bag full of empty beer cans, cigarette butts and a chicken carcass to Tom’s half of the back seat, and it was returned with a massive belch. After purchasing two, later to be discovered overpriced British Airways tickets we back slapped and high fived about how we’d got a great deal….and then headed to the nearest bar.

A few hours later and a hurried stagger, we loudly approached the departure lounge to be met by the then customary “Single Mans Holiday Questionnaire.” Have you been drinking?…. Are you sure you’re not drunk?…. Can you walk in a straight line?…. You will behave on the flight, won’t you? We were chuffed to bits when asked to meet the flight captain, we assumed it was the questionnaire winners prize.

It became clear that this was not the case when the captain announced “let them board” and the stewardess spoke with a slap on wry smile “But we cannot serve you any alcoholic drinks”. Our world fell apart.

It may have been air turbulence or possibly sheer dehydration, but after about five hours of drunken sleep, we simultaneously woke, looked at each other and with timing synchronized swimmers would die for, mouthed to each other “what the hell are we doing on here we were only going to the pub”.



I'm a sixty-year-old Englishman living in the town of Swindon in rural Wiltshire and I have a real deep desire to retire in Thailand one day. If you don't have a dream then you won't have a dream come true.

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