Crossed Wires


If we can “boondoggle” ourselves out of this depression, that word is going to be enshrined in the hearts of the American people for years to come. Franklin Roosevelt 1936.

If the word did ever come then it’s news to me. At times words don’t come easy.

“There’s nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.” TV presenter Clair Frisby.

Words can be confusing at times.

Mai mai mai mai mai. New wood doesn’t burn, does it?

Sometimes a mixture of cross cultural tongue can be even more confusing. At times it rains bedlam. The following is a recent telephone conversation I had with Wonderful Wi.

Crossed Wires a short play by Hoo Don

Wilai talking Myself My thoughts Actions

Old Dictionary SeriesBrring brring brring  (telephone)

Hello hus…band, what you doing?

Hello darling now I sit bar and drink some beer. What you do?

Now I stay bedroom. Have new friend come…..She’s got a bloody bloke in the bedroom.

What name friend you?


Ladlet…..Who the hell is Ladlet.

Yes. Ladlet very beautiful and soft.  Ladlet not name, is same we see before cartoon. I leave the bar and go outside to smoke a cigarette.

How big is Ladlet.

Nitnoi (small), now he sleep in basket. Cola (our puppy) love him too much. What the hell is she going on about.

Wilai I don’t understand Ladlet. It’s not English talk. Check your dictionary.

Deeo deeo (wait one moment) I go check dick shun hairy. The wait seems to take forever. I finish my cigarette and go back inside the bar. Wilai returns to the phone.

Hus…band, me ting tong (stupid) my friend have name Labbet not Ladlet.

Wilai how the bloody hell do you spell Labbet.

R -A-B-B-I-T  same I speak before Labbet.

Sleeping BunnyRabbit…..Okay now I understand….The quiet village girl who gets emotional sometimes and likes nothing better than to prune the roses and sniff the soft scent of our village garden has once more shown her love of animals. In a village where the soi dogs forever roam hungry, wild cats prowl in the night and cobra’s have been seen not more than a few spits away, Wonderful Wi has been given a bloody rabbit. Handkerchiefs at the ready please.

The End


Photograph Old Dictionary © Pdtnc |

Photograph Communicator © Alexey Arkhipov |

Photograph      Sleeping Bunny © Dmitry Maslov |


I'm a sixty-year-old Englishman living in the town of Swindon in rural Wiltshire and I have a real deep desire to retire in Thailand one day. If you don't have a dream then you won't have a dream come true.

7 Responses

  1. Adullamite says:

    Good stuff! 🙂

    Adullamite’s last blog post..Missing him already?

  2. Mike says:

    HD I hope Wii has not been influenced by my love of MTF’s labbet ruckless Rucky!!! By the way Rucky is a boy perhaps……..

    I just rove “r” and “l” in Thai they (Thais) can’t even pronounce it in their own language hence “aroy” and “aloy!” (I thought they were two different words). What chance have I?

    Technical point: Your last two posts did not show on sidebar or in my blogger followers feed! Thats why I am a bit slow getting here.

    Mike’s last blog post..The Week in Review (1)

  3. *lynne* says:

    LoL! I refused to scroll down for the longest time, trying to figure out what ladlet might be… in the end I was stumped, admitted defeat, and read on. I might have had a chance with labbet 🙂

    *lynne*’s last blog post..Photo Hunt: Yellow

  4. Hoo Don says:

    Adullamite – Thanks for dropping your comment in.

    Mike – Very funny. Wilai calls one of my mates Lob, no prizes for guessing his real name.I am surprised Lucky has lasted so long. I think I’ve sorted out my feed now. Cheers.

    Lynne – Hope you’ve recovered from your hectic holiday schedule. I might of understood if she’d said labbet in the first place. Have fun.

  5. martin in bulgaria says:

    I very bunny story Martyn and as it was a rabbit it was a short tail that was told.

    Hop all it well your end.

    Seriously, I enjoyed the play, it would work well on radio.

    martin in bulgaria’s last blog post..Live Football on Bulgarian Televison

  6. Talen says:

    That brought a huge smile to my face. Have had so many similar conversations.

    Talen’s last blog post..What is it About Thailand?

  7. Hoo Don says:

    Martin – Lovely comment, very funny. I just hope if Wilai reads it she doesn’t get hopping mad.

    Talen – I’m sure you’ll be having a few more of this type of conversation over the coming years. enjoy your holiday.

Copyright © 2023 All Rights Reserved.  WP Premium Plugin

Share via
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap