$oi Dog Millionaires

They first met on the roof of a train heading from Bangkok to Pattaya, both men had been a few baht short of the fare. Two men from very different backgrounds and with differing opinions on life, but both with one common cause. They had a hunger burning inside of them to become Soi (street) Dog Millionaires.

$oi Dog Millionaires – Episode One

Starring  Wai Hai Man & Tee Hak Sing –  On the Roof to Pattaya

Narration Wai Hai Man Tee Hak Sing

Wai Hai Man wondered what he was doing clinging to the roof of a train slowly winding its way to Pattaya. Born in the North East of England he had moved to Bangkok and down on his luck had become a shanty town soi dog, albeit the leader of the pack. Fed up with leading a pack of no hopers he was now heading to Pattaya to make his fortune.

Tee Hak Sing was also from the North East but in his case Thailand. The former North Eastern villager was also a former leader of his village pack, but had been deposed under a cloud of allegations concerning vote rigging and the purchase of some cheap rice fields. He was heading to Pattaya, on a broken shoestring, determined to make fame and fortune his, as a singer in the cabarets of Pattaya.

Side by side they both clung grimly to the roof, the strong headwind sucked the last 20 baht from Tee Hak Sing’s pocket.

There’s me rice supper gone

A good education would have taught you to have put 20 one baht coins in your pocket and not a note. Looks like you’ll have to sing for our supper.

Me pockets have got holes in them and singing for our supper, we’ve got no bloody musical instruments.

A quick jaunt to the beach, grab a couple of coconut shells and off to a posh hotel. I’ll knock out a beat, you sing a song. We’ll be eating king prawns tonight.

There’s no bloody coconuts in Lady In Red. Chris De Burgh wasn’t sat on a bloody beach when he wrote it.

What a ghastly colour, Yellow Submarine would be better. Afterall we will be by the sea. Yellow River is another one.

I only sing  songs with red in the title, it’s my style. Red Red Wine is one of my favourites.

What about Blue by Simply Red.

Quiet. The station’s coming up.

They both clambered down from the train roof and avoiding the platform master headed off on the long walk to Pattaya beach and a search for some musical coconuts.

An afternoon spent scavenging amongst the food debris of sun seeking tourists for the perfect acoustical coconuts on Pattaya beach, resulted in the “unlikely lads” heading off in search of a posh hotel to sing for their supper. Two soi dogs, a pair of coconuts and one dream, strolling along together.

A fruitless couple of hours were wasted belting out Simply Red and Chris De Burgh numbers outside a posh hotel on Beach Road. Their return is seven baht and with a drunken tourist rendition of “Ingerland, Ingerland”  still ringing in their ears, disheartened they call it a day.

Late evening, fed but still famished, Wai Hai Man and Tee Hak Sing settle down for a nights sleep under the moon and stars glistening high above Pattaya beach.

That coconut certainly tasted good but I’m still hungry.

I wish you hadn’t taken a bite out of the shell, Lady In Red won’t ever sound the same again.

England play football in red sometimes don’t they.

What the bloody hell has that got to do with a half eaten musical instrument.

That Ingerland Ingerland song sounded a bit catchy, reckon we could make a few baht with that one, we could sing a duo.

Wai Hai Man, good bloody night.

Everytime you call me Wai Hai Man it reminds me of my childhood in England. Goodnight Tee Hak Sing.

Goodnight soi dogs. Sweet dreams.


Photograph        Train by © heycarlson

Photograph      Departing train by © gerf4501

Photograph       Moon by © pcbman1


I'm a sixty-year-old Englishman living in the town of Swindon in rural Wiltshire and I have a real deep desire to retire in Thailand one day. If you don't have a dream then you won't have a dream come true.

8 Responses

  1. Mike says:

    HD you are simply the best!

    I hope its not lost on your non Thai lover audience.

    Put it down to a case of strange bed fellows!

    But this is Thailand so who knows or cares for that matter. Stranger things have happened notably to a well known Thai cook.

  2. malcolm says:

    Martyn, you have to be one of my favorite story tellers , loved it and hope them ole soi dogs can find their nitch in life again , so sad that so many try to line their pockets while in the good times and end up on the TOP OF THE TRAIN. will they ever learn the ole saying “it’s better to give than to recieve” I guess not . Malcolm

    malcolm’s last blog post..I’AM STILL HERE

  3. Catherine says:

    ‘Thai bar girls and Thai working girls’

    I have GOT to work those key words into my site! I do have an angle… but… time…

    Catherine’s last blog post..Free Online Thai Basic Readers

  4. Catherine says:

    Hmmm… my comment went into the wrong post…

    Catherine’s last blog post..Free Online Thai Basic Readers

  5. Hoo Don says:

    Mike – Tina Turner and Simply the Best, that goes back a while. I am planning to do one episode a month on the Soi Dogs and yes any non Thai lovers will be a little confused by it all, but I cannot see any way out of that. The TV cook has given me an idea, thanks for that one.

    Malcolm – Likewise you are one of my favourite story tellers with such a wide and varied range of experiences to draw on from your life. Thailand has now added another bow to your archives.

    Catherine – I see your comment was intended for How Gold is Your Goose. My comments icon does confuse a few people with it’s positioning at the very bottom of my posts. I look forward to reading your angle on those keywords. Best wishes.

  6. martin in bulgaria says:

    Hi Martyn, a highly entertaining post, I just love you humour you conjure up from otherwise quite flat observations, that is the testiment of a great writer and blogger. Long may it continue for the pleasure of others who have been fortunate enough to know about your blog.

    “And I mean that most sincerely folks!” (Hughie Green)

    martin in bulgaria’s last blog post..Why Move To Bulgaria – World Blog Surf Day

  7. Adullamite says:

    It’s the singing Chris De Burgh songs that puts me off!

    Adullamite’s last blog post..Man Flu

  8. Hoo Don says:

    Martin thanks for the compliment. Hughie Green is going back a few years, I’d forgotten all about him, what a wonderful man.

    Adullamite I must admit Chris De Burgh is not my favourite artist but it fits in with a political “red” theme.

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