Who Let The Dogs Out

Heathrow airportIt could have been how I swaggered up to the Costa Coffee Bar outside Terminal 3 at Heathrow airport that finished my hopes. I was squinting into a promising early English morning like a western gunslinger looking for the Texan rustlers who’d abused his sister, 24 hours without sleep can make you look like that. Heathrow was deserted and in a one horse town news travels fast. I didn’t get an Etihad upgrade, I sat with the cowhands.

He slipped the catch on the high wired compound gate and tossed the red raw lump of meat high into the air. It landed with a thud, blood scattering everywhere. The quickest dog got there first, the rest of the pack followed, the strongest dogs overpowering and pushing aside the weaker ones. One minute passed and the meat was devoured, just a thick bloodstain remaining on the dusty compound floor. The pack hurried through the open gate, they had the smell of blood. Who let the dogs out.

No sooner had I passed through immigration when they attacked, taxi drivers everywhere, I was the meat, this was their compound. She arrived draped in shining white armor, astride a galloping white horse, Wonderful Wi came blades flashing, gunfire tongue to rescue me and the pack reluctantly moved away. Thailand I’m so pleased to be back, your warts and all.

I had travelled 6000 miles and wondered if we had circled Heathrow or weather wise perhaps Manchester for the last 11 hours of them, it was raining. Coronation Street, a Manchester derby and a brogue tongue were soon distant memories burnt away by a fierce afternoon sun. 6000 miles but I unpacked the tiredness brought on by five months work and 150 days want.

Marin Place, PattayaWe have checked into the Marin Place on Soi Buakhao, a brisk walk from the wild life thankfully so. A lazy afternoon spent with the welcome voice of Wilai and quite a few Tiger beers. Pattaya is quiet with very few tourists around, a welcome sight for my heavy eyes and thus far reluctant smile. Pattaya, young ladies paraded by old men and a strong scent of trouble and strife.

Football is a game of two halves and our evening restaurant table was much the same. Spicy vegetables and sweet beef curry looking inviting in one half and sausage, mashed potato and onions almost embarrassingly lining up in the other. Two days, a few cities, many different spoken tongues and a free guest lounge bar bill that could have choked a horse….my journey has ended in Pattaya, far from the Costa Coffee Bar……Hey cowboy, you raped my sister and spilt her blood….You son of a bitch.. draw.


I'm a sixty-year-old Englishman living in the town of Swindon in rural Wiltshire and I have a real deep desire to retire in Thailand one day. If you don't have a dream then you won't have a dream come true.

7 Responses

  1. Mike says:

    Martyn time you hit Soi Cowboy I fancy always assuming they have the same in Pattaya as BKK.

    Mike’s last blog post..Sanpaulo Hua Hin Hospital Thailand.

  2. Martin In Bulgaria says:

    Hi Martyn,
    Glad you got there safely.
    You can now get off your horse and drink your coconut milk.

    Martin In Bulgaria’s last blog post..Bulgarian Cat And Rat Saga

  3. Malcolm says:

    Martyn, Easy cowboy , here in the real wild west of Thailand we check our guns , the only cow pokes allowed to wear them are on the soaps .And they can shoot for hours and never run out of bullets and NEVER kill anyone . So you don’t have to worry about being Quick Draw McGraw , they want hit you anyway , so relax you’re home for a while and the little lady will take good care of you . Glad you made it in one piece and enjoy your visit and do look foward to maybe seeing you on your Sept. trip . You and Wilia have a good visit . And DON’T TAKE YOUR GUNS TO TOWN SON. MALCOLM

    Malcolm’s last blog post..UNSEEN THAILAND TREASURE

  4. Talen says:

    I hope you and your lady have a great time…I only wish I was still there as well!

    Talen’s last blog post..Songkran 2009 Revisited

  5. Hoo Don says:

    Mike – I rate Pattaya a lot better than Soi Cowboy and far far cheaper. You really should take yourself and MTF to Pattaya sometime, there’s a lot more to it than the sex industry.

    Malcolm – Let’s make that a date for September. As far as looking after myself goes I’ve got Wilai to keep me on the straight and narrow. Thanks for your concern.

    Martin – Coconut milk is always Wi’s choice on the beach, mine’s water and then I make my excuses and head for a bar. I’m still chuffed with the award you gave me. Thanks.

    Talen – It would have been nice to have met you in Pattaya, maybe Christmas or some other time.

  6. Catherine says:

    Gawd, I love it when you write like this 😀

    I always look with much sympathy towards newcomers to the Bangkok airport taxi feast.

    Some escape to the outside ‘official’ taxi line. Some grin at getting their ‘limo’ (for now anyway).

    And again, welcome back to Thailand. The land of… well, I’m sure you could finish that line with a snazzier dash than I!

    Catherine’s last blog post..Google Books: Thai Learning Resources

  7. Hoo Don says:

    Catherine thanks for a lovely compliment, I thought it the best way to describe the airport taxi scene. Hope you are over your jet lag.

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