The Merlin’s a World Cup Wizard

They think it’s all over…it is now. Some blog post opportunities are too good to miss. Especially when it comes to toilet humour.

Male toilets can get into a bit of a mess and when a bar’s patrons have prostrates even more enlarged than their egos, a waterlogged floor is often the final score. My local pub (bar) the Merlin here in the UK has enlisted a novel solution to solving the problem and if it catches on then with football’s World Cup just weeks away, punters all over the world will be queuing up to burst the back of the net.

With the World Cup starting on June 11th regulars at the Merlin public house in my home town of Swindon have been getting in some shooting practise of their own. Though only the male clientele.

The hard men of football’s World Cup wouldn’t like going head to head with some of the tackles being splashed about in the Merlin gentleman’s toilet. The ”ooh” and  ”aah’s” bouncing off the toilette walls might make you wonder if the famous ”Ooh aah Cantona” football chant had been chosen by FIFA as their South Africa 2010 World Cup theme tune. To my great relief and deflated bladder I found out it wasn’t….”ooh…aah, that feels better.”

The Merlin’s best dribblers are being encouraged to shoot on sight after the bar manager made a tactical switch and placed goals complete with nets into the urinals. If you’re the type of guy who hits the bar regular then this wizard idea from the Merlin manager should keep you on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately it couldn’t keep someone on life’s honest path.

Originally each of the urinal bowls were fitted with a goal and a small football. The idea being you steered or shot the ball into the net. Somebody has stolen the footballs. A very sad case of someone taking the piss. If caught committing a crime such as this, the culprit would typically be shown the red card and barred from the Merlin’s hallowed turf. Perhaps a soggy urine coloured yellow card waved in their face would be more appropriate this time.

Please can we have our footballs back.

Sorry about this being a non Thai related post but I thought I’d give you a little bit of England. And it has got a kind of Songkran theme to it.


I'm a sixty-year-old Englishman living in the town of Swindon in rural Wiltshire and I have a real deep desire to retire in Thailand one day. If you don't have a dream then you won't have a dream come true.

15 Responses

  1. Mike says:

    Martyn, the wall is sort of making a Thai political statement too with the sinister blacks hiding out among the reds and yellows!

    Enjoy your day and hope the ash clears soon, which has just made me think about the picture again, maybe the goalposts are for smokers to flick their nub end into!
    .-= Mike´s last blog ..Wat Chalong-วัดฉลอง- Phuket =-.

  2. Camille says:

    Amsterdam Airport, Schiphol, was one of the first places in the world to tackle this problem, they had a fly painted inside the urine bowl and pretty much everyone tried to aim at the fly, problem of wet floors solved.
    .-= Camille´s last blog ..Koh Samui, Thailand daily weather update; 18th April, 2010 [] =-.

  3. Hoo Don says:

    Mike if you got caught smoking in the toilet you’d be issued a straight red card. Mind you it’s not too long a walk to the next bar.

    I didn’t think about the political statement on the wall because I partly wrote the post to get away from all things Thai. Something a little different. I guess a lot of people won’t know who Eric Cantona is but then again I don’t expect it to get too many hits. It’s more a blog about my everyday life in England.

  4. Hoo Don says:

    Hi Camille, the fly in the bowl is a pretty good idea. Like this one it gives the mind something to focus on and does indeed keep the floor drier. A bit like concentrating in a penalty shoot out.

    My local working men’s club has a slightly older clientele and would need its members to stand inside a giant bowl to keep the floor dry. Though they’d have to make the goals nearly full size.

  5. Adullamite says:

    Hmmm makes me think of the England team also……
    .-= Adullamite´s last blog ..Sunday =-.

  6. Hoo Don says:

    Graham a few of the England team would need bigger goals than that to score and I can think of at least one who would prefer the ladies. Keeping on the straight and narrow is something alien to some of the overpaid England stars.

  7. Catherine says:

    Martyn, Looking at the photos, seems to me that there would be a bit of spray coming back from the nets. Is that so? Not for the dribblers, obviously.

    (enquiring minds just wanna know…)

    You are so funny. So, is ‘a waterlogged floor’ the connection with Songkran? 😀
    .-= Catherine´s last blog ..An Expat’s Eye-witness Report: Ratchaprasong Resort =-.

  8. Hoo Don says:

    Catherine the connection to Songkran is the spraying around of water and the waterlogged floor.

    Perhaps the younger ones have the strength to burst the back of the net and soak any admiring fans but for me those heady days are long gone. The older you get the more of a dribbler you become (males that is).

    Catherine I’m currently working on a ‘kicking a can loudly post.’ Thanks for the inspiration.

  9. Lawrence says:

    Another great post, Martyn. Not Thai-related but possibly a refreshing change. I just hope it’s not netball in the ladies.
    .-= Lawrence´s last blog ..Pic of the Day 12 April – 18 April =-.

  10. Hoo Don says:

    Lawrence I had one helluva laugh at your netball quip and it also set my imagination into overdrive. Thanks for the thumbs up on the change of post theme.

    I hope you’re enjoying the present good weather here in England.

  11. Angela Lån says:

    Looking at that goal in the urinal just makes me laugh. It’s simply an interesting idea to make the men “shoot” better while doing their thing in the little boys room. I know it’s quite an issue for them to make a mess on the floor. =D
    .-= Angela Lån´s last blog ..Thorn =-.

  12. Hoo Don says:

    Angela – The toilet floor did seem very clean and I can only assume it was because of the nets. I think it’s a great idea. Thanks for dropping by.

  13. Jon says:

    Gives a new meaning to hitting the back of the net (especially in the men’s room).

    Carlsberg doesn’t do toilets but if they did they’d look something like your photos.

    Great post!
    .-= Jon´s last blog ..Here comes number two =-.

  14. Hoo Don says:

    Jon – Thanks for the read, I thought you might like it. It hasn’t had that many hits but you’ve got to be a bit of a football nut to appreciate it. You fit the bill perfectly.

  15. The Dribbler says:

    Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. I do think there should be a little ball in there too though!
    .-= The Dribbler´s last blog ..Chairman Howes Blog #2 =-.

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