Thai Police – Possibly 7 to Eleven Hours An Interview

I couldn’t help but notice one of the email headlines I received from Thaivisa this week, it kind of screamed out at me. I had read about it before but this time something kicked in and I thought I’ll have another read all about it.

Convenience Stores Get Into Bed With The Police

It was the announcement that the Royal Thai Police and 7-Eleven convenience store chain were joining forces in a fight against crime. The joint venture will roll out a pilot scheme in twelve 7-Eleven outlets in Pattaya whereby tourists and ex pats will be able to report crimes at the shops. The staff at 7-Eleven will then immediately report the incident and their location to the police who will arrive and assist the distressed victim.

What an interesting story.

Images attached to this post are from Sticky Wiki file 7-Eleven.

More Crossed Wires another short play by Hoo Don

Tourist 7-Eleven Assistant Actions

The scene is Pattaya and a middle aged English male tourist on his first holiday in Thailand is seen hurriedly entering a 7-Eleven store opposite a large hotel. The shop door slides open to reveal it is occupied by a solitary lady boy cashier in an otherwise empty shop. The man rushes to the checkout counter.

I want to report a robbery

Lobbery…..what happen

A bar girl has stolen my Rolex watch from my hotel room

She bad lady…..your heart heavy too much …I want me comfort you long time

I want you to telephone the police

The lady boy disappears under the counter and emerges holding a pen and notebook in one hand and a large hot dog sausage in the other. She gently places her elbows on the counter and leans right forward revealing firm and very ample breast cleavage. She rolls the tip of her tongue around the top of the sausage and then puts it down to one side.

Tell me what happen….. no worry…my inglish good to much

The tourist forces his gaze away from the sausage, swallows hard and then starts to narrate the crime which has happened to him.

I took a bar girl back to my hotel room and she asked me to take a shower first. When I finished she was gone and so was my big gold Rolex watch.

The lady boy locks her gaze on to the tourists eyes and with her right hand gently strokes the sausage.

Mmmmm…..I do like big one…..I talk about watch… you please

Rob Ramsey

Hotel name you

Royal Resort Rooms

What time happen you

Nine this evening

Nine cock….mmmm….okay I telephone police

The lady boy takes a mobile phone out from under the counter and delicately places it to her mouth.

Not worry sir…I speak inglish to police… if I speak wrong you speak me I do

Despite the cool air inside the 7-Eleven shop the tourist wipes his sweating forehead whilst the lady boy waits for the police to answer her call.

Hello…offy sir…….7-Eleven have clime come here….man have plom plem come my shop…..okay I speak you what happen….lady lob Lob Lamsey long lam Loyal Lesort Looms…Lolex watch…lady steal…nine cock…..heavy heart mark mark… he cannot boom boom….nam ta mar mark mark…

The lady boy stops in mid sentence as the 7-Eleven front doors slide open and a lone western tourist heads out into the hot night air continuously shaking his head from side to side before disappearing into the big hotel opposite.

Inside the 7-Eleven convenience store a lonely lady boy stands at the counter watching a hot dog sausage slowly slide down the closed glass doors as Pattaya colourfully goes about her business outside.

Do you think the pilot scheme might work. I’m a little unsure myself.

To read my original Crossed Wires play click on the link.

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I'm a sixty-year-old Englishman living in the town of Swindon in rural Wiltshire and I have a real deep desire to retire in Thailand one day. If you don't have a dream then you won't have a dream come true.

20 Responses

  1. Paul says:

    Only in Thailand. We already use 7eleven counter services to pay our bills so why not to report crimes there as well. Maybe they could add a new bell that goes off when someone reports an incident – something sinister. I think an unintended consequence is that there will be a huge drop in anonymous tip-offs; the employees at 7eleven are notorious gossips 🙂

    Great script by the way – I could see it on Little Britain.

  2. Hoo Don says:

    Paul thanks for your views on the joint venture, only time will tell if the scheme will work. I suppose it’s handy if you get robbed in a 7-Eleven shop but I’m not sure what you’d do if they overcharged you.

    Little Britain….a little bit more is getting lost everyday.

  3. Paul says:

    I can just imagine the complaints. I only went in to report that my car had been stolen but I ened up buying all this junk 🙂

  4. Hoo Don says:

    Paul this could indeed be big business for 7-Eleven. Let’s hope it works because it will benefit a lot of people if it does. My concern is whether your average tourist landing at Bangkok will even know the scheme exists.

  5. Snap says:

    Bravo and loud applause Martyn.

    I also read the Thai Visa article and wondered if this was a feasable option. I thought this was the role of the Tourist Police, or the real police? I’ve only encounted a Tourist Police officer once, he was off duty and bored I think, but extremely helpful in showing us around a hotel.

    He gave us the number to contact the TP…1155 or 5511, I can’t remember. I tried to look for it on their website…but it’s all in Thai. Not farang friendly. But that’s another can of worms.

    The 7/11 project may not be a success, but it can’t hurt…can it? After all there would have to be far more 7/11 employees than Thai Police.

  6. Hoo Don says:

    Snap I’ve never had to use the Tourist Police myself but 1155 does seem a number I’ve seen jotted about. Then again the Big Mac and pizza takeaway numbers are similar if I recall right. I have used them from time to time.

    I agree the 7-Eleven project is worth a go and with time we’ll see if it works. I’d have thought pharmacies would have been better because they’re English is normally of a decent standard.

  7. Talen says:

    Martyn, well done, I imagine that sort of conversation would happens frequently and I can just hear the 7-11 managers telling their employees to upsell anyone reporting a crime there and run specials for crime victims such as ” get robbed and get 20% off a big gulp and hot dog combo”

    I don’t think it’s a good idea and I don’t think anyone will seriously use this service. If I have a problem I am calling the police on the spot or heading to the soi 9 police station.

  8. Hoo Don says:

    Talen I like the idea of a get robbed and earn some discount but even Thailand won”t be able to pull that one off. Like you I’ve got my doubts as to whether this will work. Big doubts.

  9. Mike says:

    Hi Martyn, great read, it has to be worth a Tweet 😉

    or perhaps I should say treat?

    I prefer your story to the real thing,because in real life Thailand I have no doubt there will be some enterprising BIB or 7/11 staff who benefit.

    Mind you it reminds me of the sort of drop in centres the old bill use in the UK, I have seen them in shopping malls. So perhaps its not to daft.

    One question since you are clearly a 7/11 expert. Why do the staff always ask me if I want my pack of ham(not the Thai word -I mean pork) microwaved?

  10. Hoo Don says:

    Mike thanks for the tweet, it’s always a bit touch and go as to how readers take to this kind of post. So far so good.

    I have actually seen a police desk in my council office, it must have appeared just a few months ago. I guess it’s handy especially how the council rob people every month.

    I’ll pass on the ham question as I’ve never bought any in 7-Eleven. Microwaved ham….it has got possibilities.

  11. Mike says:

    Martyn I assume you know what “ham” means in Thai 😉

  12. Hoo Don says:

    Mike I haven’t got a clue. Please tell me.

  13. Mike says:

    Martyn ask WW.

  14. Hoo Don says:

    Mike I will, is 6,000 miles a safe enough distance to do so.

  15. Smap says:

    Martyn/Mike Re: Ham…I’m glad I have an Australian accent 😉

  16. Joel says:

    Have been in Phuket and Pattaya last year. Compared to Bangkok, there are relatively risky at nights. Nice initiative Thai police. I wish other tourist countries like south africa, Indonesia should also follow same path.

  17. Hoo Don says:

    Joel thanks for your views and I agree Pattaya can be risky at night. Hopefully the pilot scheme will work and eventually cut down crime on Pattaya’s streets.

  18. Catherine says:

    Hilarious post (I can literally hear that lady boy lisping in my ear 😀

    Would it work? Not sure. I know nothing about Pattaya but in Bangkok the 7’s are everywhere (in soi Ari they are around every corner) so it would make sense to bring them onboard.

    It’d be easier and less intimidating than going to a Thai police station or flagging down the tourist police. For sure.

    But what they should have is one of those computerized menus where you click any box that matters. And when you save it goes BING to the police station… 555…

    One time I was in 7 and there was this little kid behind the counter around that age. 7. Working the line, she was doing fine until she came to me. Blushing, smiling wide, she kept her chin in her chest until an elder took over.

  19. Hoo Don says:

    Catherine I’ve had the blushing female 7-Eleven shop assistant before, it makes you realise how much some Thai people look up to westerners, but why I’ll never know.

    A crime menu sounds good, maybe you could order a takeaway with it too.

  20. I don’t think it’s a good idea and I don’t think anyone will seriously use this service. If I have a problem I am calling the police on the spot or heading to the soi 9 police station.

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