Funny Signs – Thai Toilet and Hotel Humour

funny sign Thailand

Please believe me when I say that I don’t hang around in Thai toilets too much. It’s not a pastime of mine but my regular forays into Thai toilets are simply because I like a beer or two and my bladder is knocking on somewhat. And besides, the top photograph of a Thai funny sign was taken on a hotel stairway. Although I do have quite a collection of funny signs I’ve photographed whilst perusing the porcelain in Thai toilets over a number of years.

The top picture is a funny hotel sign in Udon Thani and was a problem for me because on both nights I stayed at the hotel I returned to my fourth floor room after midnight and slightly worse for wear. The hotel had no lift and I was sporting flip-flops (open toe footwear), which for me are very noisy things to wear. I flip and flop every step I take and can be heard approaching way before I get there. Does anyone know the secret to walking quietly in flip-flops (Hawai chappal), because hotel corridors don’t half echo.

funny hotel sign ThailandThis picture of a funny Thai sign was taken in the car park of the Top Mansion Hotel in Udon Thani and politely points out that if you need to urinate then please don’t do it here, the hotel has a toilet not too far away. The sign was hung beneath a roof and was probably only eventually spotted by many men who have the habit of looking left, right, down and eventually up whilst urinating somewhere they shouldn’t be.

funny-signs-Thai-toiletThis funny sign is an educational one and shows the correct way to urinate into a western style toilet. The golden rule is to sit down and not stand, but can you notice another very important thing?

The answer… if you’re wearing a baseball cap then it must be worn correctly and not backwards.

And last but not least…

The Seven Rules of Thai Toilets


  1. This one is a strange sign. I guess it means no sex fetish games are to be played out in the toilet.
  2. Number two is there for Thais and warns them not to employ Thai squat toilet techniques.
  3. By all means check your own underwear but not others.
  4. Please do not break wind in the toilet. I guess it’s okay in the hotel lift.
  5. If you want to act like George Michael then please go to a karaoke bar and sing your heart out with your pants around your ankles.
  6. These toilets are unisex so please keep your hands to yourself.
  7. No cameras please.

I broke rule seven but Thai toilets are one helluva good place to take a camera.

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I'm a sixty-year-old Englishman living in the town of Swindon in rural Wiltshire and I have a real deep desire to retire in Thailand one day. If you don't have a dream then you won't have a dream come true.

10 Responses

  1. How says:

    7 rules – were these stenciled on the toilet wall tiles or can you actually buy these stickers from like a se-ed bookstore. I am preparing for X’mas already.

  2. Martyn says:

    How – I’m near enough certain the rules were in sticker form. Roll on Christmas, that’s when my next trip to Thailand is planned. I’ve never stayed away from the Land of Smiles that long before. I’m going to miss it big time.

  3. Catherine says:

    “The Seven Rules of Thai Toilets”

    Hilarious! I’ve seen similar on Thai taxi windows but not in toilets.

    I’m always taking photos in toilets. The signs don’t usually vary but when they do I want proof. One of my favs is from Cambodia where they are protesting against anyone taking a shower with the bum-gun. When I first saw that I thought “ewwwww!” but after several hot days it looked mighty tempting.

  4. Martyn says:

    Catherine, I’d love to see the bum gun one, and I know how tempting that must be at times.

    I love the contrasts you see in Thai toilets. Dirty and swarming with mosquitoes to swish and swanky. A restaurant’s outside appearance doesn’t necessarily mirror its toilets. Sometimes I really don’t want to go in them. And some men’s urinals at gas stations are open to view for the whole world to see.

  5. Catherine says:

    I’ve come across many rows of peeing men… Surprise!!!

  6. Martyn says:

    Catherine, whenever I visit the gas station urinals I always get the feeling if there’s a Thai man next to me he’s trying to peek at what pistol I’m packing. I try to stretch it a bit when getting it out.

    Do you like the Udon Thani hotels banner I’ve just put together. Tacky or neat? You upload a photo to and play around with the graphics.

  7. Catherine says:

    “he’s trying to peek”

    Martyn, I so do not want to be a guy!

    Do you mean the sparkling banner? I quite like it actually.

  8. Martyn says:

    Catherine – It’s not only women that get stretch marks.

    Yes the sparkling banner. I get a few hotel bookings via my Udon Thani Hotels page and so I thought I’d try and pump up the volume.

    In 15 minutes I’m off to cash in some travellers cheques and then have three or four beers. I’ve just discovered Theakston Dark Smooth beer, it’s a kind of mild fruity stout and on special offer at £2.15p.

  9. Gerry says:

    Haha, the 7 rules is awesome, I swear half of them look like sex acts. I have to agree with Thais on their rules about baseball caps though 🙂

  10. Martyn says:

    Gerry – Thanks for your comment and I agree the seven rules have a bit more boomph to them than Snow White’s famous seven.

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