Thai Bar Girls – I Take Care for Free

Thai bar girls are a topic which attracts many points of view, mostly, disparaging remarks about their loyalty, morality and their monetary greed. Unfortunately, Thai bar girls are trapped in the aphorism that bad news sells newspapers and good stories are best circulated in smaller print.


I know, without doubt, that many of the horror stories one reads on forums and blogs about Thai bar girls fleecing westerners of their hard-earned money are  true, but, I strongly reject the notion they’re all bad. There are many loyal, honest and appreciative bar girls out there too, but you may have to be once bitten and twice fried before you find the right one, but they are out there trust me.

I recently came across a wonderfully written poem about a Thai bar girl, which when first read, appears derogatory towards bar girls in general, but I think its author is someone who understands the treadmill shaped catwalk many of the bar girls paddle in cheap, over-sized market shoes. The poem is very funny and penned by a gentleman who I think understands, possibly firsthand, that if you get badly burnt by a Thai bar girl then remember it was probably you who paid for the gasoline and gold-plated lighter.

I contacted the man who wrote the untitled poem, which I’ve named, Thai Bar Girls – I Take Care for Free, and he agreed to allow me to post it on Beyond The Mango Juice on the proviso I used the pen name Samui Loafer. I’ve no problem with that, and as a big thank you to him I’d like to give this message which possibly only he’ll understand – Come on you ‘Bees’.

So, here’s the poem by Samui Loafer, and if you are a first time visitor to Thailand and intend sampling Thailand’s raunchy nightlife scene then please copy the poem and tape it to your hotel bedroom door.

Thai Bar Girls -I Take Care for Free

She said
“Hello mister,
Where do you go?
You very handsome”
I felt like a beau.

“You are a good man
A very good heart,
You look like a film star”
I sure felt the part.

She said
“You want lady?
I come home with you,
I do all your cleaning,
Make house look like new”

“I don’t want money,
I take care for free,
I don’t want money,
Just ‘take care’ of me”

She moved into my house
To take care of me,
Not a week later
Mum got a bad knee.

“I don’t want money
I take care for free,
I send just a little
To fix mum’s bad knee.”

A month or so later
She got her next call
Her sister needs money
To go to high school

“I don’t want money
I take care for free,
I send just a little
For sisters degree”

Two months have gone now,
Her dad’s on the phone,
They’re taking the farm back
he can’t pay the loan.

“I don’t want money
I take care for free,
I send just a little
For farm and family”

She didn’t want money,
She took care of me,
She always told me
She’d take care for free.

Her mum’s leg is better
Her sister’s at school
Her dads got his farm back
I’ve paid for it all

She didn’t want money,
She took care of me,
Took me to the cleaners…….
she did it for free.

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I'm a sixty-year-old Englishman living in the town of Swindon in rural Wiltshire and I have a real deep desire to retire in Thailand one day. If you don't have a dream then you won't have a dream come true.

2 Responses

  1. Samui Loafer says:

    Thanks for putting this piece up. The title is “I take care for free”, so you weren’t far off with that, but I’m not sure about the “Thai bar girls” bit , I didn’t want it to seem as if it was directed at any one group of people. It was written more as a humorous observation, rather than from first hand experience.

    Anyway thanks again for the re-post, Keep up the good work with your blog, and a big shout for Udon Thani FC.

  2. Martyn says:

    Samui Loafer – Thanks for the heads up on the post but apologies for surmising you’d written your marvelous poem on firsthand experience. I’m glad you haven’t been torched.

    Udon Thani FC got beat in the play offs last season but hopefully they can go one better this time.

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